22nd November 2009

I've finished watching Sengoku Basara today! Whee~ Apple swirls~ (Sugar-rushed moment) Sugoi na! The story were action pack-to-the-brim, a lot of cool weaponries was thrown in there, western and eastern-esque alike. I never had the chance to try their game yet (I got hooked to Sengoku Basara because of their game flier/preview). I favor Oda Nobunaga's wife, Kica Nouhime; a perfect visage of the mild, kimono-wearing Japanese maiden and yet she's one tough vixen when she brandished her... What?... Arquebus-like guns? Was that it? Oh, smaller was it? Yeah and her mean gattling gun (where and how the hell did she pack those babies). It’s HUGE! Haha… she had similarities like I-no (GG), a deadly seductress true to her form…um…Eh, never mind that… there’s this scythe wielder that closely resembles Testament from Guilty Gear. Lanky, death etched to their appearances, both scythe users, long hair –sleek and straight- (must’ve been using the same hair care range). Oh, y’know, when Testament got hit, slashed or something, he’d laughed it off (SM hint-hint) and the same goes to this guy, Akechi Mitsuhide… then there’s this ditzy blonde ninja that are completely stealth-less, skill-less and smitten by his flirty master, Uesugi Kenshin…(Looong sigh). Nice OP video and song BTW, an overall of 4 out of 5 rating. Two thumbs up!

12th November 2009

It's been quite a non-productive week... *whine*... got the silent treatment from dad since I’ve somehow messed with his favorite in the family -she ditched housework, really, and I got the blame. Works piling up, lil brother is fussing with his oncoming SPM examinations, friends been busy with classes and my PDA had series of seizures... *sigh*...

But, none of that now… -Whooop!!!- Happy (belated) Birthday to Arashina. You're twenty! HaniMartian's proud of ya, baby! Lots of love and kisses. Mmuah~

29th September 2009

....I had another profile photo taken today. I drug Bento just for the sake of fun (Bento: If you took a picture, it’ll take a piece of your soul with it.)…um… you believe that kind of superstition, Ben? (Bento: What’s wrong with believing it?)… So you don’t do family portraits? Baby pictures? Your IC? School pictures? (Bento: It’s not a tradition in my family…hmm, I’m in no control of my baby pictures. IC? That’s a different matter here. Heh, school pictures? I took a liking to school’s sport supply room because of that.) That’s not nice. (Bento: Nice were never in my dictionary, Hun. And…speaking of nice, want to see her chosen profile photo? I’ll add something here too).

She looked pretty vamped up, you think?

...and this is her without the make-up.

20th September 2009

Happy Eid Ul-Fitri to all the Muslims. This year celebration seems to be dulled by the outbreak of Influenza A. *Sigh* and here I hope to get more duit raya from relatives… (Bento: Still kutip duit raya at this age, huh, missy?) Hey! I’m still in the acceptable range of collecting duit raya. I’ll stop when I’m married.
I found something of Chrono Nanae’s. I was bored, there’s not much to do here (home). So, internet I goes…It’s a Naruto-IruKaka doujinshi, Icha Icha Academy. She had this style of drawing that makes her works recognizable. I don’t know if you indulge in this kind of manga, Moe-chan…*Peace out*

9th September 2009

I’ve dreamt seeing a large, white snake sleeping with his belly side up and a full-grown, bloody red Nibel wolf (Final Fantasy’s) contentedly purring on my lap in a rundown animal shelter while there’s a whole team of Eyeshield21 at the shelter’s entrance; doing some fund-raisin’ (though I think with Cerberus and Hiruma standing like some kaminariman, it’ll be completely hopeless to raise dough, huh?)
… $$$ ...must be from my state of poverty in reality…(Bento: Here… As an heir of the owner of a multimillionaire empire… I present you this cheque of RM100, 000, as a token of my gratitude for all the coarse work you had labored in my past assignment… *present a mock cheque*)… I’m no charity case, Ben. Oh, I’m up for hiring. I’m good with housework, quite capable in multitasking, fine around kids, ambidextrous and have a slight inclination to being a butler. Any offer?

8th september 2009

…*watching scary alleyway through the window*… scary. Reminds me of something disturbing that had happened years ago when I still in secondary school. I took public buses to school, so, I’m used to walking to the bus-stop alone in the wee morning hour. Everyday, I had to pass by this one dim-lighted street to get to the bus-stop. On that same street, there’s this tall, rambutan tree that had these weird twisted branches that canopied the wide walk-way. So far, the tree seems to be quite bare with only leafy greens on the branches; it has been what? Almost fifteen years and yet the tree hadn’t even bore fruits once. There’s something wrong with the tree. Well, anyway I had my usual walk to the bus-stop when suddenly I say this creepy black dog sat quietly under the rambutan tree. Its head tilted up, gazing at one particular branch above it, weird isn’t it? Then, -I don’t know if it’s a trick of the light- I saw a shadow, thick, ebony and liquid-like shadow, that seems to slowly descend to the ground just beside the dog. I freaked out and walked as fast as possible without making it seems like a run; I don’t want to get chased by a dog, not that early in the morning and not while I’m wearing my school uniform… mum said that according to Malay belief, that thing that I saw was called hantu galah a.k.a, hantu panjang, hantu tinggi or hantu -add adjectives that seems to related to height or length- they usually like dim, almost dark places since it adds up to their scare effect…
I saw this mv of this new Korean girl group, F(x). Aff(x)tion? They’re five members group. The girls are quite chic and cute and their first single is above average, I guess. I particularly like this group because there’s this cool looking androgynous being (girl?) she’s very cool…

7th September 2009

Ugh, really… Sleep and fasting don’t mix…I’ve kept my curtains closed all the time during the day; the heat from the outside was unbearable. Bento has been cooped up in his room all this time. I’ve sent him lots of mails but he’s not replying. Ben, are you sick? Masturbating? Heh… getting laid? Anyway, the noon was too hot to do anything. I’m practically melting into a pile of goop here…I’m just wearing a light, oversized cotton shirt and still I’m sweating… the heat, the hunger…It reminds me of a TV advertisement, cekodok pisang monster, directed by the late Yasmin Ahmad. Any of you guys remember bout that? There’s a video of that ad in YouTube. It’s really funny.
I’m clearing out my room for the oncoming Eid Ul-Fitri. I like cleaning in someplace dimmed. Gives you the sense of opaque…(Bento: Hey, mornin’…) Hey, Bento! Thought you’ve passed out or something. Ben’s back!...by the way Ben, it’s already past noon… oh, yeah. One of my colleagues had sent me a pic earlier this morning. Horde them boys out, hehe…

26th August 2009

Hack…cough…thirsty…kidding. I’m doing quite well with fasting though sometimes my hand itched to grab something to eat. Dad had dragged us out for a valuable family time together –shopping for the coming Eid. While dad busied himself in the men’s dept, I was picking out my baju kurung, a nice hue of brown coffee. I was busy twirling around in front of the mirror with my new favorite attire, little sis hanging around nearby, when I caught a boy, bout my age with a familiar sneer on his face that slightly borders mischief. Oh, though there’s a frown, it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Then, Bam! It hit me! No wonder he’s so familiar, I know this guy! Adam K! He’s quite good looking, has a nice smile, had this ice prince appearance going on around him that’ll leave your heart cringing for cover. His appearance was practically screaming a yes,-move-out-of-the-way-my-loyal-subject-if-you-know-what’s-good-for-you attitude. But heh, truly, he’s really a warm candy fluff of romanticism inside –I’ve witnessed it first-hand when he’s wooing his girlfriend. I kindofflikehim…heh. Let’s just leave it at that.


Oh, to those who read all of this, I’m the one of the unfortunate that didn’t have internet connection at hand all the time, so forgive me if I don’t update this for a long period of time. Much love to you guys…muah!

8th August 2009

*flutter, flutter* I had a date with Aria, earlier in the evening today… I was quite anxious since we rarely had the chance to see each other after finishing secondary school, though the sweltering noon heat slightly dampened the mood a bit. But hey, Aria’s at the end of the road –a goal. It was tiring (standing in a cramped pack full of people with the highest possibility of getting groped). When I reach Mines, the sudden burst of cool air of the building AC system was like…like…wow…cherubim floating, flower sparkles here and there.


The current exhaustion of taking a public transportation was slowly nursed by the exciting revelation of finally getting to see Aria again (it’s a bi-annual event, my birthday, her birthday). We wandered off around the complex, window browsing; stopping occasionally at the pet shop (I saw cute, super cute white hedgehog, miniscule gerbils, scorpions and the common rabbits…), comic book store (I could not resist), ice cream booth and stuff. We’ve talked a lot, small talks, jokes and making fun (discreetly) of the overly affectionate couples’ groping without any sense of reservation what so ever (really, it’s public here, there’s kids running around here!). But that aside, I had fun today, really. A nice break from my normal routine; work, school, do housework… And I had a good look of this one fine-looking man (I can practically feel Aria’s remark coming up, “You’re not over tzh yet, are you?”). He used to work at SenQ but now it seems that he’s in the security department. Don’t mind that… And…And, hey, hey! I got Kirara, the newest compilation of Atsuko Nakajima-sensei’s artworks as my b’day present (I can’t thank you enough, Aria) along with a new story book and a small heap of Hershey’s treats, yum.

My Precious Kirara!!

3rd August 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!!! Happy birthday to Kai Xin! And happy birthday to the third August-ers! Wish you guys the best of luck! Thanks to Aria, one of the late sleeper, for wishing me at 2:11 in the wee morning…and thanks to Arashina, Lorraine, Lai Yoong, Lisa, Mr. Bento extraordinaire (Ben: Aww…you’re making me blush all over) and to the others that wishes me b’day greetings later in the day. I was quite sick today and there are still lots of ironing and writing to do. Try growing up as the eldest sibling in a large family of seven…Not in the mood to celebrate…zzz.

26th July 2009

I’ve heard this from the late night news the day before yesterday, Yasmin Ahmad, a Malaysian born director extraordinaire passed away peacefully due to her sudden stroke attack. Her works, Rabun, Sepet, Gubra, Mukhsin, Mualaf and Talentime was nothing short of a work of genius. I’ve never been a fan of made-in-Malaysia movies, but the instant I saw the late Yasmin Ahmad’s second movie (from what I’ve been informed), Sepet, I was hooked to her works.


The film ‘Sepet’ explores what happens when a Chinese boy falls in love with a Malay girl in smalltown Ipoh. 19-year old Ah Loong is in charge of a street stall selling pirated VCDs. Contrary to one might expect someone of his social standing to be, Ah Loong is an incurable romantic with an unlikely hobby – he loves to read and write poetry. Quite contented to carry on being the Romeo of the slums, Ah Loong’s life takes a sudden turn one day when a 16-year old Malay school girl arrives at his stall in search of Wong Kar Wai’s films.

There are bits of this and that in the movie that I could relate to. (These are for you guys whom I love so much, Arashina, Kay, Ben and the rest, I wouldn’t want to tell you by sms anyway). I’ve studied in a nice, modest secondary school with the majorities of Chinese as their student (as a reward of getting 4A’s in my UPSR. The secondary school near my house *SS* has a nasty history of hazing and bullies). I have the biggest family there. Usually there’s this whole scenario of girl like boy, girl confesses to boy, girl date boy and stuff. Malay boys are scarce here, so it’s no surprise that my hatsukoi, first love is a Chinese boy. A bubbly but composed-looking young man.

the hansome prefect of SMKSK

I admit that I was still immature at that time –I was just entering fourteen. Taunting the one who seems to be at fault, in this case, that poor, poor young man because I can’t quite figure out what had riled me to do so. Like the foolish, tomboy girl that pester the boy she unconsciously like, I had (I’m embarrassed) constantly pushed at him, always taunting prodding him at the back when classes starts, pushing him into talking when he’s being too quiet. When my friend (god bless her) undoubtedly pointed out that I’m obviously having crushes to the said boy, I’ve practically screamed bloody murder (again, I’m a late bloomer…sigh). And so, I’ve dug my own grave. When finally the light bulb in my head clicked, it was already too late…haha…the damage is done. I didn’t talk to him for the rest of my school years. A repentance, maybe… (Bento: Masochist, are you? … I mean, c’mon! What’d you’ve seen in that guy?) eeeh… hmm…I guess I kind of like the way he carry himself around; calculated motion but still spontaneous at the same time. He seems so sure of what he does, passionate even and though I never realized that until later, he’s very forgiving; I admit, I had ill-treated him a lot… he seems so warm and friendly with everyone. (Bento: It’s because of that or it’s because you’re fond of megane fetishes.)

Um…I’m gonna say this though it might stay unrequited; I like you, Mr. TZH. Can I court you? Though I’ve hoped I had the courage to say those exact words to you, long time ago…

Al-Fatihah, to the late, our dearest Yasmin Ahmad…amin.

21st July 2009

Dad's Birthday card

Yay! I’m done with my dad’s birthday present! In two days time, it’ll be his birthday! (Bento: The same goes to Daniel Radcliff, our Potter boy!) A partially finished parcel is making evil eyes on me, a gesture that screams, ‘FINISH US UP!’ It’s a present for my dear Arashina, last year’s and this year’s. I’ll leave it at that… *seething mist of doom* and there, lying innocently on my worktable, a blueprint for Aria’s gift for our oncoming get together.


Oh! Before I forgot, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BENTO! How does it feel to be a 73-ish? (Bento: Well, my child, at this age it doesn’t feel weird anymore to wear those bottle-bottom glasses anymore. It would’ve proved to be useful if I were to be an arsonist… See this ill-fitted denture? I was told it was brought down from generation to generation before it was handed down to me. Don’t make that faces, young lady, it just need some spit and polish and it will shine like new…and these hands, it’s straight-out from a horror film –with all the warts, calluses and what not, it’s a nightmare for sure. Hmm… maybe I should start planning on my funeral. There’s now limited space in the burial sanctuary and I would want a nice comfy coffin to settle in… Kidding. I’m just 23, I’m a young stud.) You wish, Ben. You wish…

15th July 2009

Rations, rations…Rations! I have to cut out my spending on indulgence. That means no long trip(s) to the cyber café, no chocolate treats, no prepaid top-up for the month, no visit to the craft store, no cupcakes and no bitter chocolate brownie (I’m quite simple)… but thanks to the 3G technology, it seems that I won’t be having any withdrawal in the net surfing department, though it wasn’t quite satisfactory; the small screen, mind you, the pain in my thumbs, miniscule downloading limitations and access time is between 12 a.m. to 7 a.m.…but still, no CUPCAKES?! (*added later in the later evening* I’m one, sick, sugar-rushed kid, huh?)


11.35 p.m. finally, finished reading ‘Gokujou no Koibito’ or ‘The Best Lover’ (roughly translated, is it right?) and ‘Love & Action’, both work from Masara Minase –a reward for today’s hard work. A word to one of my favorite author, Samurai Smee, ‘Gokujou no Koibito’ fits in concord to one of your works, ‘Shutter Speed’. Wonder if you’ve crossed path with Masara Minase’s works? Hmm…

5th July 2009

…yay! I found my old Calligraphy pen! (Bento: one should not be that happy when dealing with writing utensils, no offence to those who does…) as usual, none taken, Ben. I love things that last for quite a while (especially writing tools), especially when it has a certain sentimental value to it… Now I have ink smudges on my fingers, being as clumsy as ever trying to refill the ink cartridge. I have tried writing and it seems that I’m quite rusted…haha… I self-learned when I’m on the fourth year in secondary school, since I was quite restless at that time; always starting new work/project but never quite manage to finish it –let’s just say I’m at the rebellious phase (mother always said that I’m a late bloomer and my height will be my demise). Never manage to burn anything though…

30th June 2009

……watching Blood Ties. Aired sometime between 12 a.m. to 1 a.m. The main protagonist, Henry Fitzeroy a vampire, deals with weird f*cked up supernatural cases with his one-time blood donor, Vicki Nelson. It’s quite bland in comparison to Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and Angel, but it’s quite good enough; with the charm of a delinquent, Henry is good enough to be a vampire. Love the complex chemistry between Henry and Vicki and dare I say that Henry is one wicked illustrator/painter. The song ‘Monsoon’ from Tokio Hotel would go very well with this series. The vocalist voice kinda reminds me of Vicki’s voice –deep, full of sarcasm, an I-don’t-give-a-shit voice.

28th June 2009

I’m bored, bored, bored, bored to the EXTREME as Ryouhei had eloquently put it. But I’ve always favored the Cloud guardian, Hibari Kyoya… if they were to come up with a perfume based on this character, it should be something of from the apples and cinnamons…slightly sweet and spicy at the same time. Sorry it’s quite random… I’m bored and thinking of wrecking the drawing I’m doing now… which I’m sure, I’ll later regretted doing… Bento’s not around, field work he said.

Entertainment of the day?...Zettai Kareshi is later in the evening, the morning market is kind of a bore, my assignment has been safely put away… what else?… the morning paper and there’s not much interesting news in there except from some grocery coupons and book reviews, love those. Then, there it is, gobsmack on the bottom of the page, “Watson for Burberry”. It’s stated that, ‘Emma Watson personifies the message Christopher Bailey, the brand’s creative director, wants to project for the Fall/ Winter 09: quiet beauty, timelessness and strength.’ And being nosy of something picturesque, I’ve looked it up. She looked soo~ cool, chic, elegant and sophisticated at the same time.

And there are some from her collection…I love this purple number… It gives off a some-masquerade-party mood. She’s missing a dark violet pillbox hat (with a small veil) tipped just so to the front, as if the veil to cover her eyes…

The blue dress and the black leggings gave her an appearance of kinda like a … dominatrix, don’t you think? Haha…

She looks foxy with the vixen red scheme. Love it… I have a shirt at the exact shade as the jacket but passably said that I’m a bit androgynous in body structure and poise (it was up to the point that someone questions my sexual orientation).

26th June 2009

3.45 a.m. It’s kind of scary when it’s drizzling and the streets are dark. It reminded me of a scene from ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’, that and the fact that the only window in my room is facing directly to a creepy alleyway…Several road lamps had burned bulbs or something like that. I could take pictures of it…but I don’t think that’s a good idea. What if something shows up when I’m previewing it? I’m alone; Ben is offline, a state which easily summarized as ‘I’m asleep… Bother me later’.


I’ve been dreaming bout white elephants again. I stood in front of a tall, wide marble staircase that got narrower at the top. A sickly sweet voice cooed me to climb to the top of the stairs as “there a surprise for you upstairs”…my mind seems to blank out when I felt a nudge from the back and without my will, I began climbing the stairs mechanically. When I reached the top, I was roughly pushed to a room, no doubt of it being a closet… it had a sign there anyway…so, there I was, locked in a small but tall closet with a white round window on one of the walls. I was sitting, legs pulled close to the body, chin rests on my knees, and hands lay limply on the side with my head nodding of to sleep. Even when the drowsiness was quite overwhelming, I can clearly hear the sea and… a wind-chime? *ting, ting~* the sound was quite beautiful… reminds me of the summer that they usually esthetically portrayed in the Japanese drama; the ones with the sound of cicadas, the ‘ching, ching’ of the dome-shaped wind-chime with a tanzaku in it and the refreshing feeling of eating watermelons in the shade and other stuff like that.

I felt rather than heard a ‘creak’ of the door opening. The same sickly voice told me that I had no choice to avoid this, and to that she apologizes. Along with the words she had spoken, her voice gradually softens; it had a motherly tone to it. It kind of reminds me of my dearly departed mother. Before I had the chance to butt in and ask questions, I felt soft hands cupping mine and rearrange them as if I were to accept something. “Here, take good care of this,” the voice whispers, “I’m sorry it’ll bring you trouble in the near future, but please, bear with it…” and there, in my hold was a small baby elephant and the small cramped closet that I thought I was in turned into a lavish room fit for an aristocate… mother had once said that dreaming about elephant was an ominous sign of receiving unbeneficial responsibility. As she had said, white elephants are rare, right? It was made a pet for a king, right? And it cost a fortune in both effort and money in its maintenance, right? And it’s beautiful to look at a mystical creature at its prime, right? But other than that, mother added, do they bring any benefit to the king? Try to think bout the money that the king could’ve use to make his kingdom prosper and flourish instead of pampering the rare elephant. It’ll be only time when his kingdom would fall to poverty… mother was quite wistful, in her own way… a friend had told me that a white elephant is a sign of religion…was it Buddhism or Hinduism? I kinda forgot bout that…



7.45a.m. I heard the news that Micheal Jackson had passed away earlier in the morning from cardiac arrest. I‘m not quite a fan of his music but I’m a fan of his passion to music. May God bless his soul.

21st June 2009

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers and especially to my father, Mr. Maslan.

The finest ‘diadem’ like no other,

Would be nothing of short, a timeless gift to our father,

Who’s literally our avid achiever,

Always the best provider,

The best educator,

A very, very patient caretaker,

That had leniently put up with us siblings’ banter.

And not to forget, the best filter,

Of all the gold from the useless that glitters.

Try as you might, you’ll find no one better,

That’s befitting, suited in charisma as that of our father…


Happy Father’s Day,


Lots of love, from your sons and your daughters.

16th June 2009

Finally…*sparkle, sparkle* at exactly 2.49 a.m., my room’s clean! (Bento: A miracle…) well, I don’t see you lift a finger, mister. And I took the liberty of cleaning my thumbdrive from old files. Guess what, (Bento: What?) there’s a file of illustrations from Kats Terada, Minekura Kaz, Hyung-Tae Kim, a bit of Samura Hiroki, Chrono Nanae and (I can’t believe I’ve forgot all about this) Atsuko Nakajima –who mostly draws wicked bishies with their other half; preferably males, brought up by the not so subtle gesture(s) of affection in the anime industry…eeeh, there’s even a picture of Neliel (Bleach, I think she’s sooo cute when she was deformed and much more cooler when she had return to her normal growth. I like the ram skull on her head) and Shinji Hirako (there’s something bout him that make me all hot and bothered… his hairstyle, maybe?) There’s a large collection of Masara Minase’s works (Bento: BL mangas…powder puff, dandelions…pff, girls…) sorry, Ben’s kinda worn out and blur, stuck doing his assignment from dinner till now…waiting for the last minute to do it… and still manages to get satisfactory marks. (Bento: It’s a gift God had given me…*a spotlight lit from no where*.) *rolls eyes* riiight…

my now clean workstation.

Some of the stuff in that old thumbdrive...

15th June 2009

*****
Spring cleaning! It’s high-time for cleaning. (Bento: Uuwah, the ruins of once a great kingdom… you can see there’s a clearing near the corner, that is where the great ruler, Astroth had been buried, marked with a…erm…maroon-ish emblem there… heh. And researchers believed that these streets was once paved with foods…) There’s no tomb here, there’s no foo- (Ben!) there’s no dead king here… and certainly not an emblem…What emblem?… emblem? Emblem, emblem… (blur). Ben, that’s not an emblem, it’s just an Abingdon Boys School poster (the one with their album crest on it) There’s no tomb, that’s my bed…my…unmade bed and there’s no ruins, that’s my drafts for the next coming assignment… with a bit of my books here and there. (Bento: …sorry for being nosy *held up a thumb*.) Don’t be so smug… need to make breakfast.



-my morning conversation with Bento.

*****



I never thought I had so many cool stuff stashed somewhere in my room. It’s like forgotten treasure. I’ve found a box marked with a somewhat messy handwriting of “My Stuff”. *opening the lid* There are lots of small notes in here, perfumed and non-perfumed (come to think of it, I do have some trouble with remembering stuff. Examples?...umm…there’s birthday dates, addresses, IOU notes, datelines and stuff.) There’s love letters… from someone… someone, someone…(Bento: -Advertising- *ping~* Today’s lunch is sponsored by Gluttony Catering)…umm, someone… someone…*struggling* can’t remember… ‘m sorry. There’s Alucard, a small teddy I got from Arashina-chan. A tofu plush (can’t resist squeezing…sooo soft). Oh, there’s… what’s this, Ben? Remote control…? (Bento: seems so, out of battery though). There’s the key to school’s Art Room…(Bento: How’d you get a hold of that? *leers*) I didn’t stole it, if that’s what you’re thinking. I think I kind of forgot to return the key back when I’ve used the room, ages ago, when I was in form 2…? There’s this banner-drawing competition at that time, if I’ve remembered it correctly. Natsukashii… the smell of paints, turpentine, aged papers and the sight of used brush bunched in jars, Styrofoam boards stacked at the back, barred windows, a certain quiet boy…hmm, yeah…anyway, I was suppose to lock up since I had no problem of going home the latest (most in late)… I had to clear the paints, put away the banner, sweep the floor and stuff. And after locking up, I’ve stuffed the key in my once-it-enters-it’ll-ceased-in-existence duffel (quite handy of getting rid of icky love notes). I forgot to return the key next day and that’s how the story goes. And there’s…feathers? Owl feather… I got this at the first day of PMR. Quite lucky and seems like a good omen at that time, fluttering softly on the table where I was supposed to take my exam on… it turned out to be a barn owl’s (though it seems out of place since it’s in the sub-urban)… (Bento: ~Birdie, birdie~ tweet, tweet… Bento wants a cracker… with a side dish of chicken cream soup and a dessert of lush sorbet) I would starve if I were to keep you, Bento...



P.S. I’m so sorry, Hafizuddin sebab tak reply your smses. Problem one, duit tak cukup nak top-up –had to ‘ikat pinggang’ for the father’s day celebration. Problem two, been quite busy managing my housework and works and project and hp dah tak betul skit. Kadang, kadang mesej baru akan terus di’delete’kn. Sorry, sorry, ingatkan dapat la rasa your bread pudding.

Busy, Busy

(The alarm clock is wailing, with neon orange numbers that reads 1205). I’m up! I’m up! It just knows when to wail when the dream is getting better… I dreamt that I was married to a regal-like man that had much of a charm of a vampire lord. He had nice looong, silky ebony hair tied to a loose ponytail, had pale complexion akin to the moonlight… wore glasses. We had a child that he adamantly called his ‘heir’. He wouldn’t let me nurse him… standing in the hallway that lead to his studies, I can hear soft coo of lullabies… I was just opening the door when I hear something wailed. The door handle turned to an icy cold hand attached to an icy cold arm of a wailing banshee… (Insert a dramatic shriek here). A wailing, banshee-like alarm clock…

…(Sigh). Well, then, no time better than the present. Time to do housework! Schoolwork! Drafts!

... And, (clears throat) a bit… no, lots of cleaning…

Books, papers, pens, rubbish and shit like that are all over the floor… (ehehe…no pictures, please…) if your lucky, you could see something smiling in the shadows near the table…8-D

Oh, before I forgot! Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday, Nik Nur Amallina and Zafirah! Love you mountains!

Abingdon Boys School’s Nephilim or TVXQ’s sweet number Love in the Ice, it’s your pick…

Early Birthdays

A dedication to my friends that are celebrating their birthday, a few months before and after the stated date above; Happy Birthday, guys! And I’m sorry if the birthday gift(s) aren’t going to be personally delivered to you guys this year… (Sob, sob). I’ll make due with what I have at hand to make it as special as possible for you guys… Anyway, this time it’s for my cool bespectacled Aria, my darling Arashina, the tedious Lai Yoong, the utmost inspiring Zi Hao (ha!) and my unbiased co-writer/guardian, Dark Bento.

‘Happy Birthday to You,
May Your Wish Soon Comes True,
I Will Always Be With You,
And Will Always Love You...’

Live well, eat well and grow up maturely well, you guys… Lots of love from me, you guys!

Fairy Tails

I came across this article while I read the newspaper at breakfast… the table was paraded with toasts, butter and jam, a glass of grape juice, last night’s heated casserole –macaroni and stuff- and scrambled eggs.

BEWARE THE POISON APPLE…
There’s nothing more insidious than a well-crafted fairy tale, believes Syida Lizta Amirul Ihsan.

The next time a fairy tale comes right at your face, I say run for the hill. I don’t know about you, but I’m afraid of fairy tales. They poison minds. And worse, they’re probably the first few books read by children (especially girls) at an age when they’ll believe everything they read.

I’m all for hope and happy endings, but I think some fairy tales have just taken dreams to a whole new level wit their over-generalizations and fatalistic sentiments. I grew u with them, true, but when I look back as an adult, those were pretty dangerous things that I read.

Consider some examples:

A woman can fall in love with a frog or a beast, but a man must fall for a pretty young thing – even she is living in the forest with seven other men. Are you kidding me?

The easiest way to deal with food scarcity, as Hansel and Gretel would attest, is to lead your children to the woods so they can be eaten by wild animals… how come no one smells cruelty here?

And the princesses in the animated feature film Aladdin will definitely say –against the advice of sane people everywhere- that it’s okay to fall for a con man because everything will turn out well in the end as he shows her “a whole new world”.
And as Cinderella, apparently skills you need for a better life is sweeping, scrubbing floors and talking to domestic animals.
Oh, and have you noticed that the meanest characters in fairy tales are women? Old women and stepmothers have all gotten a bad rap, thanks to how the stories depict them. It’s no surprise that mak tiri, or stepmother in Malay, is a despised phrase. As a child, I secretly feared tat all old women are witches.

I’m beginning to think that fairy tales could be equally responsible in destroying children’s minds in the same way video games and fast food do… only theirs is done in a more subtle way through songs and happy tales. I think the ‘alternate reality, (with the apologies to Star Trek), resulting from fairy tales is dangerous because it gives a perception that it’s all right to be fatalistic. “Some day my prince will come,” so sung Snow White.

I suppose THAT animation studio should shoulder some blame in translating these tales of damsels in distress into animation. To be fair, it did try to change that perception though, through Mulan and Pocahontas, but even then, Mulan’s Chinese and Pocahontas is South American, not your usual gown-wearing, blond princesses in the stories young girls love so much. While fairy tales are so pervasive among children, they contain no emphasis on education, manners confidence and self reliance that are crucial to life. And let’s not forget parenting skills. How could Snow White and Cinderella’s dads let their daughter be treated so?

I’m sorry, but I think fairy tales are just so skewed. Sure, it’s nice to be swept off your feet by a handsome prince, but what is the girl doing for herself? And even after she had married someone rich and good looking – the princes are not portrayed as understanding and loving. Are looks and money all there is to life?

Know the song When I Grow Up by the Pussycat Dolls? I think this is the exactly the kind of thinking that fairy tales nurture and to me, it’s just shallow. Because happily ever after sometimes means getting yourself a good education, dong something you love, being grateful for what you have and ultimately, being happy in your skins.

And I’m sorry Cinderella; no glass slipper can give you that satisfaction…

Taken from the New Straits Times

Hear, hear… hahaha… took the words right out of my mouth.

Fairy tales had never been my cup of tea when I’m little. Instead of watching TV, like most toddlers do (that was in my time. Nowadays they would have this new-on-the-market digital gadgets to feast on. Spoiled brats) I was usually sent to sit in a corner, facing the wall, a punishment of wrecking the only computer in the house. And instead of the Disn*y’s princesses’ classics, I would watch Sailormoon, Dragon Ball or CardCaptor Sakura… never been one to rely on TV for entertainment, I would always be seen climbing and playing with bugs on the tall mango tree near the playground compound… throwing cockroaches to the prissy girls playing ‘happy family’. Haha… I was an angsty toddler at that time (Bento: And still am…)

Raid

(Gasp)… (Cough, wheeze)… internet… need internet connection (whimper)…It’s been almost a week since the raid. A respected, quite old and mostly favored internet café by gamers and net surfers alike in the neighborhood had been forced to close-up for a few weeks by the authorities. Basic procedures and stuff like that… bla, bla… (Dark bento: Ever heard of a wifi hotspot? KFC has one of those… Use it, it’s free…) Thanks, but I’m not keen in the prospect of going out and walk under the heat. Besides, I’ll get sun-burned (pout)… (Bullshit! That internet café was five blocks from your house, but still I don’t hear you complaining)… Not if the pros outweigh the cons, Bento-chan. (cool *handsome* time-keeper, no screaming brats running around).

8-D… heehee…

More Birthdays...

Happy Birthday, Selamat Hari Jadi, Ōtanjoubi omedetou, Xin ren kuai le to Rickan and my from-primary-school friend, Syaza. A special dedications of Alice 9’s Ikouku no Chandelier to you guys, a nice number or would you prefer UVERworld’s Yasashisa no Shizuku? It’s your pick. Love you guys.

Does anybody know where can I download Alice 9’s songs…? Help me out.

Happy Birthday...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to Lee Lai Yoong and Tan Zi Hao!!!

TVXQ's Mirotic

"You want me,
You give yourself up to me,
You’re mad at me
I got you under my skin,"

I’m was once quite a leisure fan to TVXQ (an acronym for Tong Vfang Xien Qi(東方神起), years before, after I’ve listened one of their many famous songs, Last Angel -a collaboration work with the famous diva, Koda Kumi used as a theme song for the Japanese release of Resident Evil: Extinction. It’s an average but somehow that song is still stuck in my playlist, a wonder.

But what got me avid was one of their recent bi-lingual (Japanese and Korean) single, ‘Mirotic’, released in Japan on October 15th last year. Eventhough there’s an opt for the Japanese version (since I could understand them), I’d chosen the Korean version since it worked much better to Mirotic’s beat. (Squeal!!) And I love their video clip. Their choreography in this video is awesome. Micky looked really something (cute is close but not quite the word). I like the part when he’s in the middle, one hand crossed to the chest and another rest on his chin, fingers splayed about on the curve of his cheek. Then, those nimble fingers glide smoothly on the outline arch of his lower lip; a pseudo-innocent act of restraint desire. (Swoon.)

And, and, and… JaeJoong! Hero is super hot with the new hairdo and the outfit; an almost black number, the jacket suit and form fitting pants adorned by a silver necklace, which fell down following the tempting strip of his skin. A peek-a-boo effect. I was absolutely enthralled by the way he dances (maybe not as good as U-Know, but close). So much zealous/amorous vibe (is it too much?) nothing like I’ve seen before*. An erotica-incarnate.

Oh, from the video clip, ‘Wrong Number’, Hero really looked like a much more masculine Matt –with the red hair and striped shirt but lacking a slender tanned, leather wrapped blonde adhered to his body. Don’t you think? The scene when he’s singing, laid back on the rum colored rug on the floor, a wine glass stood upright near an old-styled dial-up phone would make a lovely photograph set-up –photos taken face down from the ceiling. Imagine what pose I can get from the view up there (Click, click). Hiu…

*since there’s not much of a good show here anyway. Even with the stuff going on, I still do think that our local traditional dances are much more esthetically appealing. The flick of nimble fingers, cool headdress (haha…)

Happy Valentine!!!

Sometimes, there’s this inexorable pull towards another person that just can’t be denied, you know? You can run and run and run, but in the end, you’ll have ended up going in a circle and instead of running away from them, you’ll find yourself running towards the person. It’s crazy and tiring and makes you insecure, but it’s also the most beautiful thing you’ll ever know.

…that’s Love.

February! …February! It’s already the Febs! Chocolates… Candies and chocolates…hehe… haha… Muahaha… (She’s cracked.) Flowers? None of that, please… (Clears throat) sorry… St. Valentine’s day… umm… or the Single-Awareness day to those who’s still single. Most had their Valentine’s Day and a one month after, the St. White’s Day, right? Right! (St. White was giving the white ribbons and stuff, right?)

White Day is celebrated in Japan, Korea and Taiwan on March 14; one month after Valentine’s Day. On Valentine’s Day, women give gifts to men, men received chocolates on V-Day return the favor and give gifts to women. –wikipedia.com

I knew little bout this stuff since I’m not a romanticist or a conformist (synonymous to sheep, follower). It’s either that or it has to do with the fact that I’m still not getting over my first crush. *hint* have a slightly nerdy exterior, glasses and all, he was…alluring, in a sort of in a sexy male librarian kind of way.… (Thank you Aria-hime for putting up with me)

…But I’m still up for several Valentine’s day virtual gift. Call me up if you want a customized V-day gifts. Anyone? Anyone? Last week, I’ve mailed out at least three V-day gifts parcel to my colleagues, another two more will be delivered personally to Aria and Arashina. Happy V-day, guys.

A nice tip I’ve got from a friend (I kinda like it since it’s kinda different); guys, try cooking the chocolate with your partner in presence, let them see how messy can you get when your preparing something for them in your earnest. Chocolate smudges here and there, cheeks flushed from the stove heat, sugar-powdered stained, crumpled apron (some of us think that men too can look good in aprons). It’ll be a plus-plus add in your meter.

Kay, Zi Hao, Syaza, Sara, Ron, Nik, Yee Luenn, Trisul, Dark Bento, my charming Carlos, Narcissist, Lisa, Cecilia and to my kittens, Princess, Teddy, Mink, Caramel, Boss and Athena… and of course, guys and girls out there… Happy Valentine’s Day.

To Mello, With Love

MelloxMatt…a somewhat mix of a badass, spiced with a little bit of love and lust, romance. Quite cute… nice going, Matt (nudge, nudge)…Respective authoress, Catmoongirl, would you allow me to use your story for my blog, I would consider your story as somewhat auspicious for a beginning to me. It’s really a beautiful birthday story… So, please let me use this. I’ll come up with something as compensation. What do you think?

Disclaimer: this beautiful story belongs to the one and only, Catmoongirl. I own nothing of this lot –zilch-.

To Mello, with Love
Deep breath in, slowly exhale.

Another breath, another moment. One less breath to breathe, one heartbeat closer to death.

The slow breaths of the blond reclining on the bed filled the bedroom from wall to wall, even over the muffled sound of running water coming from the bathroom.

It was a powerful sound, the intense resonance of life itself.

"Happy birthday to me," Mello mumbled softly. He paused, staring up at the ceiling, watching the burnt out ceiling lamp stare back.

Deep breath in-

The running water stopped.

-slowly exhale.

For a moment, the world seemed to hover in suspended animation...

The small redheaded child stumbled back into the wall just outside the common room with a slight cry as another group of boys dashed past him, chasing a small girl with a fake spider on a stick. A few moments later, he risked another glance into the room, carefully eying the blond figure sitting in the corner of the room near the window.

He frowned, something low in his stomach churning uncomfortably. He swallowed with some difficulty, the parcel in his hands shaking. Really, it was his hands themselves that were shaking like leaves. He had every reason to be scared. Every time the boy had pushed him to the floor, every time he was called 'stupid' and 'a waste of time', every time those burning green eyes pierced his very spirit and made him cry, he remembered every single time as if they had happened just yesterday.

How had it even started? How did he end up awakening such a terrible beast?

He had wanted to touch his hair. That was it. It looked so nice, so soft and yellow and pretty.

It was when they were sitting in class, because his seat was right behind Mello's, and his lovely hair was just within reach. He wouldn't feel it, right? Just a quick touch.

His fingertips had just barely grazed the blond locks and the chair in front of him had flown backwards with a clatter, his wrist slammed onto his desk before he was pushed roughly to the tile floor.

No one touched Mello, not even Roger. No one spoke to him. No one played with him.

He just sat all by himself in the corner, day after day, knees drawn up to his chin, arms wrapped around his legs, the beads of his rosary tangled in his fingers, with one of the saddest expressions Matt had ever seen.

He was all by himself.

But it was his birthday...

The younger boy's face burned and he ducked back behind the wall, his grip tight on the poorly wrapped package in hand. He looked down at it and felt shame turn up the temperature in his cheeks another few degrees. The gaudy purple bow drooped wearily, the wrapping paper was wrinkled, scotch tape was plastered everywhere. The card was folded unevenly and had smudges of pencil lead all over it.

Birthdays are important, Mail. The world is self-centered, but everyone deserves to know how special they really are. That's why on someone's birthday, we tell that person just how much we love them.

Matt quickly wiped away the tears that bubbled up in the corners of his eyes. He took a deep breath, hugging the gift to his chest before turning and marching stiffly into the common room.

He avoided everyone's gaze, keeping his eyes locked firmly on his target, heart thundering in his chest as he realized that all the children were probably watching him. Although, he couldn't figure out if it was his odd, nervous gait that attracted all the attention or the fact that he was approaching the one person that no one dared go near.

Mello didn't look up until Matt was practically right on top of him. The redhead opened his mouth, but a garbled, hoarse noise was all that escaped his throat.

He blushed. Mello blushed, looked away, started silently counting the beads of his rosary, thin fingers running over each one in a rhythm that Matt couldn't seem to follow.

It was at that moment that Matt realized the entire common room seemed to have fallen silent.

Now or never.

"H-happy birthday!" he squeaked, squeezing his eyes shut and thrusting the gift out to the blond.

Greeted with silence, Matt opened his eyes after a long moment and saw Mello staring curiously at the proffered present. Slowly, so very, very slowly, as if he were afraid Matt would suddenly yank the thing away, he reached out and took it.

He stared at the horribly tied ribbon, the faded and crinkled wrapping paper, every single imperfection and blemish.

And Matt stood rooted to the spot, breaths quiet, though rapid and shaky, hands flexing awkwardly at his sides.

And then, Mello's lip trembled, he sniffled loudly, and started crying.

For a long while, Matt waited for him to stop, to thank him, to at least open his birthday present. But the blond continued to cry, wiping his eyes with his shirt sleeves and sobbing quietly into his arm.

This was too much. He should have known, it was such a horrible, ugly looking present.

Mello hated it. Mello hated him.

So Matt turned and ran out of the common room, back to his bedroom and hid under the blankets of his bed, trying to fight back his own tears.

...and then the ticking and clicking of cogs and gears resumed.

The whisper of hair brushing over the tip of his nose and a kiss placed on his lips slowly brought him out of his light slumber.

Matt was kneeling beside the bed with his hands behind his back and a broad grin on his face.

"Happy birthday, Mels," he said, moving his hands out in front of him. A chocolate cupcake rest in his palms, decorated with a single lit birthday candle. "Make a wish."

Mello stretched across to the edge of the bed, reaching out to press his palm against his lover's cheek. "You're so corny," he murmured. The redhead grinned even wider in response as Mello blew out his candle with a wish silently drifting from his mind into vast nothingness, akin to a prayer.

And then he stretched even further across, sliding his hand to the back of Matt's head to pull him into slow and gentle kiss.

Matt could hear the quiet pad of bare feet on his bedroom floor, but pretended as if he hadn't noticed them. He waited until he felt a small hand tug lightly on his blankets to react, which was to twitch in surprise and clutch the sheets ever tighter around himself.

He waited for another tug, but it never came. For a moment, it seemed as if he had been left alone again, but then someone crawled up onto the bed with him, sitting near his feet, jiggling the mattress lightly as they swung their legs slowly over the edge of the bed.

"How did you know it was my birthday?"

"Saw it in your planner," the redhead mumbled shyly.

An awkward silence rushed in where the conversation had suddenly come to halt before it even began. Then...

"Why did you get me a gift?"

Matt chewed his lower lip for a moment, hands loosening their grip on the sheets. "It's your birthday..."
Slowly, he poked his head out from beneath the blankets and glanced over at the older boy staring pensively back at him. "Y-you should get gifts on your birthday." He noticed that the present was sitting, still unopened, in Mello's lap. He flushed and looked away. "If you don't like it, that's okay."

"No!" Mello exclaimed, moving to reach out to the other child. Matt flinched and he withdrew slightly, clearing his throat. "No," he repeated, softly this time. "It's not that I don't like it." He clasped his hands together in his lap nervously, risking quick sidelong glances as Matt emerged fully from beneath his sheets. "Is that why you ran?"

"I thought you hated it." How could he not?

"I haven't even opened it yet, stupid," Mello teased, laughing weakly. "How could I hate it?" Matt frowned. He didn't feel like laughing in the slightest. Then...

"I've never gotten a present before."

He whipped his head around to stare at the blond in disbelief. "Never?!"

Mello picked up the present and tugged lightly at the ribbon. "Can I open it then?"

"Of course you can. It's yours after all."

He pulled a little more at the ribbon, untying the bow and made to tear off the wrapping paper, when Matt stopped him.

"You have to read the card first though."

"Why?"

"Mum always said that's how people tell you how much they love you. She says that a gift is only special if you know why you're getting it."

Nodding, the older boy slipped the folded paper from beneath the ribbon and Matt suddenly wished he hadn't said anything.

When Mello opened it, a pair of hurriedly drawn stick figures were laid out before him: one with fire truck red scribbles for hair, the other with a head of dandelion yellow, both possessing smiles almost as wide as their oblong heads.

"It doesn't have any words," he quickly explained, leaning over to point at the pictures. "But I wanted to show you that...um..." He faltered for a moment but then jabbed his finger more insistently at stick-figure Mello. "I thought your hair was really pretty, and I tried to draw it, but I don't have anything with the same color." Mello was staring at him, but Matt tried his hardest not to meet his gaze. "I know it's not very good-"

"I love it."

The redhead blushed and nodded, falling silent. He didn't say anything further after that, even when Mello started crying again after unwrapping his present to find that Matt had gotten him a chocolate bar (he had traded one of his toys with an older child for it because he could think of nothing else that Mello might want), even when the blond hugged him tightly and didn't let go of him for a long time, because nothing needed to be said.

Not even a 'thank you' or 'you're welcome'.

"What'd you wish for?" Matt asked as Mello gently pushed him back down onto the bed and straddled his hips.
"Can't say or it won't come true," he replied with a smirk. "You should know that by now, Matty." The redhead was tugging on the waistband of his pants and he gently swatted the hands away with a frown. "I know it's my birthday and all, but there's a lot of work to do tomorrow. Don't get too excited."

"Mello," Matt said stern tone. "The world can go fuck itself. Today, you're the only thing that matters. You're beautiful, Mello, and I love you so much. You mean the world to me."

Flushing violently, Mello spluttered hopelessly as Matt sat up to forcefully claim a kiss, if only to stop his lover's babbling. It worked, though only for a moment. "God, you are so cheesy-" Another kiss. "-nothing but sappy love lines-" His voice had lowered, eyes half-lidded. A third kiss and he was responding this time, threading his fingers into Matt's hair. "-really, Matty, it's embarrassing."

"But you love it," he murmured against the blond's lips, pulling him forward by the hips until they were chest to chest.

Suddenly, how many years he had left to live didn't matter. He forgot about Kira and Near and the surveillance equipment he'd have to set up in the morning. Everything outside the walls of their bedroom seemed utterly insignificant.

So, Mello accepted the kisses and the fingers on his hips and stomach, drifting lower and lower. He let Matt touch him and hold him and make him whimper and groan and scream, until he was propelled headlong into white-hot oblivion and came spiraling languidly down and Matt leaned in to whisper into his ear,

"Happy birthday, Mihael."

-End-

(Wipe tears) it’s really a cute story don’t you think? I practically cooed at the part where Matt, once again, glanced at Mello’s present in his hands. Love how the authoress manages to capture the naïveté in Matt with just a simple, ‘The gaudy purple bow drooped wearily, the wrapping paper was wrinkled, scotch tape was plastered everywhere. The card was folded unevenly and had smudges of pencil lead all over it.’

A Beginning

Hi! RaspMartian here. There isn't much anything special bout me, except for the fact that I own ten semi-bred Persian purring, gullible cats and a dark brown Narcissist. I'm into doujinshi, anime and manga (Minase Masara-sensei!). My writing skills are mediocre at best since I usually just read stories. I’m five feet ten and am proud of my long, dark ebony curls that I’m born with. I like doing things by my own way, in my own pace. I’m into J-Rock, a bit of jazz and soft J-Ballads. J-Rock bands like Abingdon Boys School (love ‘Dress’), UVERworld (check out ‘Prime’), Onmyouza, SiamShade (thanks to Kay’s recommendations) are some of my favorites but I’m still good with Lifehouse, Bon Jovi and a bit of 3 Days Grace. Oh, and TVXQ… my muse, my secret listening pleasure…

I enjoy curling up on the marble floor under a duvet when it rains *love the smell of rain*, loves anything in blood-red, love picture perfect male models, love lilies and sweet watermelons and have tendencies of randomly taking photographs of cats and cottony-candy clouds at dawn. Hobby(s)? I like to read fluffy, bittersweet ending love stories/mangas, do some sketches and occasionally entertain friends by making their own self-portrait (not that I’m very good at it… I’m a self-taught). Love Atsuko Nakajima, Yusuke Kozaki, a bit of Kats Terada, Kazuya Minekura, Chrono Nanae, Ugetsu Hakua, Daisuke Ishiwatari and Samura Hiroki’s works. I have hands and vampire-character-related fetishes…heh… (Dislike the Twilight series, but love the Darren Shan saga).

Slight warning, I’m a big fujoshi, so ignore my slight inclination of going on ga-ga bout boys going out together n stuff. If anything I’ve put up remotely inclined to my passion, be it writings or pictures (there’s possibilities of that happening), please be reasonable and think of it as a form of art in portraying physical affection –regardless of their gender.